I had to take my youngest daughter to the doctor this morning. She was up for most of the night with a fever and a red, swollen throat. She tested positive for strep and chose to take the antibiotic shot instead of the pills. She threw up a few minutes later, but almost instantly she was feeling better. Not miraculously healed, but better. She’s sleeping now and hopefully she’ll feel a lot better when she wakes up.

I completely forgot about stopping at H&R Block when we were finished, so now I have to make an extra trip before I head back to school. Boy, am I lucky I have so much gas and a car that runs so well! HA! NOT!

So, last week I signed up for the H&R Block tax course. I paid $50 down, picked up my book, and told the lady that I was free every day throughout the week. I couldn’t attend the sign up meeting because my daughter had a volleyball game that evening, and I don’t miss my kids’ stuff. Hence, the free DAYS for the tax course.

I was assured that everyone who signed up had also requested days. A couple of nights ago I received a voicemail letting me know that the classes would be at NIGHT. So, now I have go back up there tomorrow and see what’s up with the schedule. It really irks me because I’ve always wanted to take the course, but I’ve never had the free time until now. My daughter still has games throughout the month of October and around the same time my younger daughter’s Academic team matches will be getting underway. I really hope I can still find a way to attend classes somewhere close to home. I think $150 is a good investment since it makes you eligible to work for H&R Block or prepare taxes at home. I’ve always thought it would be a great way for single moms to make some extra money.

This week I’m going to see a woman about changing my life. I’m excited, scared, and overwhelmed. Thanks to my former employer who did me the favor of laying me off, I came into contact with a woman in charge of a program that will pay for me to go to college and earn a 2 year degree! Strange thing is, this program has been around for years and apparently nobody takes advantage of it. Could it be that nobody knows about it? Duh.

So, for anyone out there (especially you single Moms) that would like to better themselves, contact your local Office of Employment & Training (the Unemployment office) and find out if they have a Workforce Area Investment Program or something like it. I found out about it by asking if there was any kind of training they would pay for. It may only be in certain levels where the poverty rate is so high, but you’ll never know unless you ask about it.

Now I just have to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

I have to write about this awesome ministry that allows people to purchase food boxes at a great price! I’m talking MEAT! Angelfood Ministries is without a doubt going to be one of the biggest blessings in my life. I missed the ordering deadline this month, but I’m counting the days until I’m able to put my order in for October! Everyone can order as much as they want and they even take food stamps! You have to go check it out! They have different menus to order from every month! Go NOW! Angelfood Ministries

The title fits. Most of the time, I wish it didn’t. Circumstances, however, being what they are, change us all for better or worse. I’m a single Mom and I’m raising my kids alone (without the benefit of child support throughout 98% of the time). In the past twenty-something years, I’ve experienced a lot of things that I feel have pretty much completely erased any trace of who I was all those years ago. That’s what I really feel when I sit and think about my life. It bothers me because I know that my kids have no idea who I really was. I don’t even remember.

30 years ago, I:

• was unknowingly innocent
• was ridiculously naive
• was thrilled to be a teenager!
• was excited about growing up!
• enjoyed being part of a middle class family
• looked forward to going to college and having a family someday

30 years later, I:

• am extremely jaded
• am always wary of what might happen tomorrow
• know I’ll be 43 years old this month!
• know I’ve already lived at least 1/2 of my life
• struggle raising 3 kids on my own at “below poverty level”
• wish I could have done more for my kids, and given them a “real” Dad

Between all the worrying about bill money, worrying about more Republicans in the White House, the stupid car that doesn’t want to run, and food that I can’t afford to buy anymore - when everyone is asleep and everything is quiet, I think to myself : “This isn’t me. This is what’s left of me.” That’s when it bothers me.