I caught myself trying to fool me again today.  I was contentedly following a train of thought when another thought popped up - right in the middle of it - and said, “You know you’re just kidding yourself.  Why are you telling yourself  that?”

I was caught in the act of trying to delude myself.  Even though the issue that I was thinking about was something I’ve been through over and over in my life, and even though I generally have taken the easy way out every other time I have been faced with the exact same issue, here I was, going to do it again!  Lucky for me that the aware part of me was totally awake and vigilant. 

Sometimes  we  humans make things so complex.  We can rationalize, deny, hide, and deflect any feeling that we don’t want to deal with.  This, in turn, causes a build-up of undealt-with baggage that we carry around with us, making our paths hard and our relationships with others complicated, at best.

I am grateful that this time I caught myself in another attempt at self-delusion.  I know that if I can do that often enough,  I will become more self-aware and confident,  because I will be able to say that I truly do know who I am.

I had a wonderful day today, with two clients reporting success.

One was an ongoing client who has been coming in for extreme stress and to control her thoughts.  Today was the third visit, and she related a breakthrough - something that she’d conquered with no effort at all!  This was the second day after that breatkthrough, and she was still feeling fine about it.

The second client came in for the first time today.  He had a memory from long ago that has been getting in the way of his success.  He’d been to a couple of other hypnotherapists for this issue just recently, and was unsatisfied with both results.  He said the approaches didn’t follow what he’d told the hypnotherapists, and that nothing changed for him as a result.

We had consulted a week before, so I knew what his story was.  I let him know then that I believe that the client’s agenda takes the lead, and the hypnotherapist follows.  I’m not interested in trying out different techniques or imposing my own perspective on his issues.  I just want to do what I can to help him reach his goals.

He wanted to know everything I was going to do, and I told him step by step, and he was in agreement.

We were very successful.  After he came back to normal awareness he said that he’d not only felt as if an integration had taken place (his words), but at one point during the hypnosis, pressure in the back of his head began to build as it usually does around this issue, for him - and then all the pressure subsided and went away.

These two clients were happy, so I was happy.  For me, that’s the whole point.

Go HERE for the latest copy of my Awareness Hypnosis Hypnogram.  I post a new one every month, so keep checking!

One of the main themes of the Republican campaign is that “We don’t have time for on-the-job training”.  I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and here is what I came up with:

** Except for second-term presidents, which men DID have presidential experience before they became president?

** Of the presidents who occupied the White House in modern times, how many of them who had experience  still botched things up?

** Of the recent presidents with limited previous experience,  how many of them did a good job?

**  Does “experience” mean having the willingness and desire to be combative with other nations?

** How many presidents actually made unilateral decisions, using their vetoe power often and randomly?  (I can think of one, off-hand.  ;-0 )

** What are the presidential advisors for, if not to advise when needed?

**  Shouldn’t the president be someone who sees the big picture, and understands that America is not the only great country and the one superpower, and who also understands that we need to join forces with all other nations; we are a world of people, not a world of countries?

 **  Does America expect a god to occupy the White House, or a mortal?

** Personal integrity and awareness should be included in our criteria for choosing a president.

**  We expect things out of our government that a government cannot do, such as create rules and laws that should be left up to either the people as a whole, or individuals.

**  If we genuinely and deeply understood how things work, we would collectively take more personal responsibility.  We  would understand that we are not a country of Me’s, but a collective consciousness.  What one thinks, feels, and does, effects everyone.

**  We as individuals do have the power to take  control of our country, by refusing to buy into everything the media says.

**  It’s time to stop being sheep and start behaving as if we can create what we see in the world.  Otherwise, how can we possibly complain about what happens  to us?

Seek out and spend time with whatever makes you feel good, calm, and safe.  Rather than wasting time worrying about the future, trying to fix things or people, or lamenting what happened yesterday, take advantage of your free time by doing things that nourish you.

Don’t  feel like you have any free time?  Do this:  Take a deep breath, and hold  it for a second.  In that space between breaths, you will find your time.  That space represents pure awareness and pure stillness.  In that stillness, you will find your calm, your safe, and your peace, because that moment in time is all you ever really have.  Savor it.

For most of my life I thought that reality was the experience that we all shared on this earth - a collective experience; well, in a way, that was true. But it was only part of it. 

Each one of us has within us beliefs, rules, and rituals learned in childhood that shaped who we became as adults.  That created an individual reality.  On top of that, we encountered a wide range of experiences once we went out into the world.  That changed our reality again. 

Your reality as a single person is quite different than the reality of a person in a long-term relationship.

In hypnosis, we are taught that “the map is not the territory.”  We may share part of ‘the territory’ with others, as the world “out there”,  but the personal ‘map’ that each of us uses to navigate our own world is different than the map used by every other individual.

When someone says, “Get real”, or “They just don’t have a grip on reality”, or “She’s not very realistic”, what do they really mean?  Those statements imply that others should see the world the same way we do, and that is actually impossible.  Each one of us has a unique perspective that we call reality, but it is truly a subjective view shared by no one else.

Someone told me recently about a church they had attended years ago that preached that hypnosis is a tool  for the devil to gain access to your mind.  The church taught that hypnosis opens up pathways in the mind through which the Devil can put ‘bad’ thoughts into your mind.

Let me explain how hypnosis works with the mind: 

There are three parts of the mind:  The Conscious mind, which is the part that directs all of your actitivities.  This is also the “just the facts, ma’am” part.  This part will do anything to be in control, including rationalizing your behavior and your thoughts.  This part tells you what you ’should’ and ’shouldn’t’ do.  The Conscious mind also likes things to stay predictable; it likes facts and logic, and is not particularly fond of change.

The Critical mind is that part that filters what goes deeper into your subconscious mind.  This is the gatekeeper to the subconscious.  In order for hypnosis to work, the critical mind needs to approve of the suggestions being given, and then let them penetrate into the subconscious in order to take effect.

The Subconscious mind is the underlying part of your mind, where all of your experiences, memories, dreams,  and beliefs are stored.  This is the part of the mind that produces  new changes or holds on to old ideas, depending on your belief system.  The subconscious wants  to protect you,  and therefore, will do whatever you tell it to do.

During hypnosis, the Conscious mind is bypassed so that the appropriate suggestions can be given to produced the desired change.

The conscious and subconscious are the only parts of the mind  that contain  thoughts; there are no other pathways or different directions  where thoughts or ideas could go.  Thoughts are either in the conscious mind,  where you are listening to and/or acting  on them,  or they have been “approved”  by the critical mind and are on their way into the subconscious mind.

Everyone has their own built in moral code, or set of rules that they live by.  if a person were to be given a suggestion that violates their moral code, the suggestion would  either be ignored outright, or the person would come out of hypnosis as soon as the suggestion was given.  so you see, no one can put things into your mind without your knowledge and consent.

For Christians who would  like sensible, easy to understand information on hypnosis and Christianity, follow this link:  Hypnosis for Christians:  Good or Bad?

I love what Eckhart Tolle says about being human:

“You are a human being.  What does that mean?  Mastery of life is not a question of control, but of finding a balance between human and Being.

Mother, father, husband, wife, young, old, the roles you play,  the functions you fulfill, whatever you do - all that belongs  to the human dimension.  It has its place and needs to be honored, but in itself it is not enough for a fulfilled, truly meaningful relationship or life.

Human alone is never enough, no matter how hard you try or what you achieve.  Then there is a Being.  It is found in the still,  alert presence of Consciousness itself, the Consciousness that you are.  Human is form.  Being is formless.  Human and Being are not separate but interwoven.”

Indeed, we are humans,  being.

The shadow:  that part or those parts of ourselves that are wounded, that we keep hidden from everyone else.

Have you seen Debbie Ford’s take on Sarah Palin?  You can read it here:

October 6, 2008, Issue 11
Is She a Hometown Girl or a Seductress?

After my first and only political Shadow Blog , I received more mail from my readers than I’ve received in my entire career. Thank you for your overwhelming response. Obviously, my message gave voice to what many of you were already feeling. I apologize once again to those of you I’ve offended. (If you were offended by the last one, don’t be a masochist. Close this one now as you’re certainly going to be offended by this one as well.) Even at the risk of losing more of my readers, I feel compelled to continue to share my views on the upcoming election because we’ve got one of the best shadow figures — literally — that we’ve seen in a long time. And being a shadow lover, I just can’t p ass it up. We’re all very lucky that this election gives us an unprecedented opportunity to see the shadow in all its disguises and all its glory. I would be remiss to ignore it.

This week, like most of you, I sat glued to my TV watching the Vice Presidential debate. Within three minutes and after the first wink, I became fascinated once again with Sarah Palin. I asked myself, “What is the deal with this woman? Why is she winking at me? Is she flirting with me?” I had to take a deep breath because I noticed this queasy feeling growing in the pit of my stomach.

Then it flashed before me. I recognized her. I had met her before, in many forms, and here she was again. All of the sudden, it dawned on me that the reason I was having this reaction is because Sarah Palin is the living expression of The Seductress , one of the 20 masks, the faces of the wounded ego, that I outline in my latest book. Of course I felt disturbed — she was working me right through my HDTV!

In Why Good People Do Bad Things , I suggest that those who don the mask of The Seductress are after one thing and one thing only: to make themselves feel better about who they are by getting whatever they might be after. Birthed out of the fear that they are not good enough, loved enough, or smart enough, they search until they find suitable targets to trap in their energetic webs — in the case of Sarah Palin, first the citizens of the great state of Alaska and now the entire country.

I consider The Seductress a predator because her main goal is to feed on the self-esteem of others in order to soothe her own emotional wounds. The Seductress literally throws out an energetic hook by being kind, loving, interested, sexual and, in this case, folksy — luring her victims closer, all the while planning her next move. She spends her time thinking about how she looks, how others will perceive her, how she can win, and how she can get more of what she’s after. The Seductress’ “catch” enhances her inner perception of herself and covers, at least for the moment, the enormous pain and self-loathing that are stored in her psyche.

In my book, “dangerous, poisonous, and venomous” are the qualities I use to describe The Seductress because her main attack is disguised in love and, in this instance, service. Her signal broadcasts in all directions, sometimes loudly and at other times as a soft whisper: “I will give you some love and take care of you if you give me your power. I am going to make you feel better about yourself if you give me some control. I am going to tell you everything you ever wanted to hear if you just make me the next Vice President of the United States of America.”

Can we as a nation afford to fall under the spell of Sarah Palin and give her what she wants? I would suggest that the cost is too high for all of us. No amount of twisting (”Oh Joe you’re going backwards again,” she croons) will be able to distract us from who she is, what she believes, what she’s really after, and what it would cost us if she and McCain are elected. This is not a beauty or a personality contest. This is not a time to pick someone because of their smile, their style, their charisma, their down-home cloak, or their biting tongue. Instead, this is a time to dissect who Sarah Palin is — her views, her experience (or in this case her inexperience), and how she lives her life. She will, if elected the next Vice President, be a role model for our daughters, sons and future generations. We must look at her carefully, behind her smiling, cute, winking persona. We must take off her very hip glasses (not her clothes, gentlemen!) to see what’s hidden there. We mu st ask ourselves, “Does this woman have the ability to govern the greatest nation in the world?”

Although many will argue that we must stop focusing on Palin, it’s vital that we take a closer look because she is a microcosm of the narrow, outdated views of the Republican Party. I’m not even going to talk about her choice to drag her four-month-old special needs child around the country to big events to prove that she’s a good mother except to ask if she had a healthy baby, would she be dragging it around all night? You do have to wonder since most of us mothers know that their child shouldn’t be in big public places with tens of thousands of people at 10:00 at night.

Instead, let’s look at her choice to use her sexuality to lure innocent voters and hearts into her web. Rather than choosing to reflect the brilliance, the smarts, the power, or the merit she must obviously possess (even if hidden from view from some of us), she winks and flirts, reinforcing all the things for which women are mocked and not taken seriously in the political arena. Can you even imagine powerful female leaders like Indira Gandhi, Golda Meir, or Margaret Thatcher winking at an audience? Here’s what I’d like to say to Sarah Palin right now, from one pretty woman to another: Stop it! I know you want to take away our right to choose but do you really have to minimize our equality just to get votes? (And for those who of you who are now mad at me and projecting on me, for the record, I have never winked at an audience, although maybe I should try it since she’s getting 15,000 people at her events.)

The choice of Sarah Palin as a running mate tells us loud and clear what kind of man “the maverick” John McCain is. Is he someone who diligently seeks to find the best person to take his place in the unfortunate circumstance of his death? Is he the kind of man that surrounds himself with brilliant thinkers of tomorrow who promise to take us out of the dark age of war, hate, and economic disaster? Or is he the kind of hungry politician who would sell his and his nation’s soul just to win? We should all take a big exhale because John McCain’s shadow has been exposed. He has proven not to be the hero of our time but instead an egocentric opportunist in search of the ultimate power. In one of the most important decisions of his political career, he picked an inexperienced woman because he believed that she could help him win over the Hillary Clinton voters. We all know this. Does he really think American women are that stupid? That we can’t see the motives behind this irresp onsible choice?

And on a final note, if you’re not convinced that she would not be the best choice, Sarah Palin told us all loud and clear Thursday night, looking straight into the camera, that the only thing that matters is that we win this war. Not that we bring our troops home safely. Not that we heal the hatred that permeates our world. She didn’t speak of justice, fairness or the good of all people. Because she is a good Seductress, all she wants is to win.

My friends, we must join together to pull off the blinders for those who are sucked into the trance of this now very famous and potentially very dangerous Seductress. If you’re not registered to vote, register today and make it your duty to find just one unregistered person to invite into this most important election.

With love, respect, and blessings,
Debbie Ford

The Masks

To find out more about the masks of the wounded ego, the faces of the false self, read my latest New York Times bestseller.

Here are some of the other masks I outline in the book:

The Charmer

The People Pleaser

The Bully

The Quiet Snake

The Nice Guy

The Tough Cookie

The Abuser

The Intellect

The Savior

Recognize any of these in our political landscape?

buy the book
Explore Your Own Shadow Live With Me

Join me for the most important conversation you will ever have.

The world-renowned Shadow Process Workshop is being held from November 7-9, 2008 in San Diego.

Make sure you read my dear friend and mentor Deepak Chopra’s thoughts about the election.

Obama and the Palin Effect

Obama and the Palin Effect Part 2

It seems that the pillars of our society are falling.  Actually, it is only the power centers that are caving in.  All it means is that the institutions that have held a majority of the power in our society are no longer able to do that.  And in my opinion, that is a good thing.  We have needed a reconstruction for a very long time.  Everyone knows there has been a power inbalance, and the gap between the haves and the have-nots has wideneed over time.

Now, I think we are about to see a shift.  On the surface it looks and maybe even feels a little scarey - especially if you are watching your money dwindling away.  Instead of listening to everyone else’s advice, though, about what to do, why not just take a few very short minutes and just become still.   Close your eyes, and take a deep breath.  As that breath comes in through your nose, mentally watch its path as it moves through your nose, down into your throat, your lungs, and then imagine it circulating throughout your body, coming out once again at your nose. 

As you do this, you will internally become still.  Your focus will narrow, and your mind will quiet.  In this stillness, if you practice it enough, you will find the answers.

Panic and worry will not cause you to find answers or peace out of this rocky new financial situation  we’re in.  Quiet and calm will restore your body, your mind, and your soul  to its natural state, where the answers are waiting for you to hear them.