The origins of some figures of speech are obvious, putting the cart before the horse, putting all of your eggs in one basket, killing two birds with one stone. Others are a little more obscure. I wonder if Mr. Aesop wrote fables about some of the expresssions listed in Jeff Rovin’s book, The Unbelievable Truth! (Signet, 1994.)

   A former boyfriend who was a smart and interesting man, probably has a dog-eared copy of Jeff Rovin’s book. He was always the go-to person when bits of odd and often useless information was needed or desired. I have always had a soft spot and much affection for these over-load folks, even if I do scratch my head and wonder how and why they know these things. Take a look at the explanations behind three common expressions that we continue to use today:

Pulling the wool over their eyes. In the 17th and 18th centuries, thieves and robbers would yank their victims’ wool wigs down over their eyes so they couldn’t see who was attacking them.

Blackmail. In 16th-century England, mail meant “rent” or “tribute.” Debts that had to be paid in silver were called “whitemail.” A debt that could be paid in any other way from was called “blackmail.” Blackmail did not have a set value, and the person collecting the debt could collect (or extort) any amount or anything they wished from the debtor.

Red tape. For centuries, it was British custom to seal important documents with red wax and red tape. Cutting through it was the only way to get at the documents and read them.

Quote: Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge. — Kahlil Gibran

Which direction will you take? You have big goals, but do you have the passion to bring them to life?

     Success usually requires a road map, a strategy, but it also calls for serious drive and commitment toward your goals. Rosabeth Moss Kanter a professor at Harvard Business School suggests testing yourself with these questions:

• Do you feel strongly about the importance of your goal—why it’s necessary to achieve?

• Will you be able to reject criticism and negativity?

• Does your idea match your values and beliefs?

• Is this something you’ve dreamed about for a long time?

• Is your goal vital to the future of people you care about?

• Does your goal get you excited when you think about it and share it with others?

• Is it realistic? Are you sincerely convinced that your goal can be achieved?

• Are you willing to put your credibility on the line for it?

• Can you make your goal the primary focus of your activities?

• Are you willing to devote your personal time—evenings, weekends, vacations—to bring your goal to reality?

• Are you committed to the long term as you work toward your goal?　

Follow Prof. Kanter on Twitter Twitter.com/RosabethKanter

You can damage your career by saying the wrong thing to your boss. It is not the obvious, don‘t say what you are thinking things, like “You’re an idiot,” or, “Do I look like I care?”

The wrong things are often in the context of a sentence that can get you kicked out of the door.

Career adviser Karen Burns warns employees to avoid these statements:

That is not my job: Don’t limit yourself to what’s in your job description. Be willing to take on any role the boss asks you to (assuming it’s legal and ethical, of course). You can ask your boss why he or she is assigning the task to you, but you’ll improve your career prospects by accepting whatever assignment is thrown your way.

That is not my problem: Don’t let the boss think you don’t care what happens to the company you work for. Take responsibility for fixing things so your manager can rely on you no matter what.

It is not my fault: Ducking responsibility only makes you look and sound untrustworthy. Don’t waste your time, and your boss’s on placing blame for whatever the office or company problems are.  [If you watch television's The Closer, you will know this is similar to the classic SODDI (pronounced sah-dee) defense/excuse; Some other dude did it.] Focus on finding answers and solutions.

I can’t do that–It’s impossible Telling your boss that he or she is asking for the impossible will not endear you to the powers.  You want your boss to believe you can do whatever is required or at least give is a good try. Analyze the task and identify the real problem or goal; then concentrate on overcoming the obstacles.

Visit Karen’s useful and easy to read Working Girl  site and buy a copy of her book The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real-Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use You will be glad you did.

Success and happiness depend as much on your attitude as on your resources and advantages. Develop the right mindset,  and keep these thoughts in mind:

1. Control. Ultimately the only control you have in life is over yourself: your thoughts, actions, responses, and behaviors. Don’t obsess over what you can’t control; concentrate on what you can. 
2. Results. It’s easy to fall into routines and patterns that emphasize the process instead of the outcome. Learn the rules, but apply them with an eye on what you want to achieve. 
3. Gratitude. You’ll stay positive if you remind yourself of what you already possess. Spend some time every day thinking about your health, your family and friends, and the advantages you have, instead of focusing single-mindedly on what you lack.

Find your own “right” attitude (and perhaps a favorite quote) and live by it. I believe that my cat Peggy (or Ms. Peg when I way trying to cajole her) had her own quote, I am guessing but suspect it was, “She’s not the boss of me, I am my own cat!” and she had attitude to back it up. I had to respect that. Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. –Jim Davis (Garfield creator)

Taking care of your parents when their health starts to decline is a huge and time consuming responsibility. Plus, deciding when to offer help isn’t always easy. As we age, many of us don’t want to admit that we can’t take care of ourselves adequately, so don’t expect your parents to admit it either.

    Some signs to watch for when deciding whether an elderly relative or acquaintance is having problems that need to be addressed:

• Weight loss. If the relative isn’t actively trying to lose weight, unexplained weight loss could indicate difficulty cooking (holding utensils, reading recipes), loss of smell or taste, or underlying problems like malnutrition or dementia. With Alzheimer’s a loved one may forget how to hold a utensil or know what it is. Talk, ask questions. Sometimes heavier seasoning may help to tweak an appetite.

• Overall appearance. Take a good look at your aged relatives’ daily hygiene. Are their clothes clean? Do they bathe regularly, brush their teeth, groom themselves? If not, they could be suffering from depression, dementia, or other health problems.

• Mobility. Muscle weakness and joint problems that grow more pronounced with age can limit an elderly person’s mobility and endanger his or her safety. Do they have trouble walking long distances, or seem unsteady on their feet? A fall can be serious, but a cane or a walker can minimize the danger.

• Lifestyle. Pay attention to any loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. Do they still participate in hobbies, listen to music, exercise, and socialize with friends? Physical and mental limitations can be compounded if the person becomes isolated at home.

• Emotional balance. Pay attention to moods. Increased anxiety, sudden mood swings, or lack of interest in activities can be signs of depression or other health concerns.

You should understand that you will not always get the truth when asking questions about health, eating habits and such. Casual and unannounced visits may be necessary to find out what you need to know. Also, make it a habit to count pills, if your there were 20 “take two pills in the morning,” on your last visit and 20 pills three days later, something is wrong.

I was surprised to learn that Father’s Day in the US was not a permanent national holiday until 1972, when President Richard Nixon signed it into law in 1972. I (my family) have always celebrated Father’s Day and gave my dad, ties, hankies or scarves every year. Since my dad had a clean handkerchief every day I assume that these were appreciated and used often.

The “mother” of Father’s Day was Sonora Smart Dodd, according to historians. The daughter of a widowed Civil War veteran who had raised her on his own, Dodd came up with the idea when listening to a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909. She held her own special tribute for her father on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington. She began a campaign for an official celebration soon after.

President Calvin Coolidge expressed support for the holiday in 1919, and in 1926 a National Father’s Day Committee was formed in New York City to join the campaign. In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a proclamation designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, however, it wasn’t until 1972 that President Richard Nixon officially recognized it as a national holiday.

As with Mother’s Day, the official flower of Father’s Day is the rose: red for fathers who are still living, and white for fathers who have passed away.

See cute article about sit-com dads: A history of TV’s most famous dads

If you are managing older workers be sure to eliminate lingering stereotypes that may lurk in the back of your mind. Be mindful that any kind of narrow thinking on your part may cut into your productivity. You may have a lot of good younger workers, but that does not mean you can afford to neglect your older workforce.

Some baby boomers are the hidden gems of the work place, they may have skills and attitudes that younger workers have not mastered. Plus they may remember where that old file is stored

Just remember your ABC’s when managing older workers:

A. Address your attitude.  Eliminate stereotypes from your thinking, positive or negative. You may believe older employees are harder workers, or that they’re just waiting for retirement. Treat every employee as an individual without jumping to conclusions based on age. Stereotypes often keep us from tapping talent.

B. Give them feedback.  Many younger managers are a little hesitant to give older workers feedback. But remember that older workers need to know their value to a team or the importance of their work. And they need to know where and how they need to improve.

C. Consider making them mentors.  Older workers have a mountain of experience. Make use of it. They can help steer younger workers though minefields that are never written in the company policy manual, and they can provide insights based on their own successes and failures.

First impressions never count more than during a job interview.

CareerBuilder.com recently surveyed more than of 2,700 hiring managers about mistakes job applicants make. While some of the responses were to be expected, some were a bit strange and downright odd.

The mistakes are listed by ranking order:

1. Inappropriate attire
2. Boredom or lack of interest
3. Criticizing a current or previous employer
4. Arrogant attitude
5. Answering a cell phone or texting during the interview
6. Vague answers
7. Not asking good questions

The hiring managers were also asked for their observations and opinions on interviewee attitude and attire that belonged in the “Hall of Shame.”

1. One candidate wore a business suit and flip-flops.
2. A job-seeker asked if the interviewer wanted to meet later for a drink.
3. The candidate who applied for an accounting job said he was “bad at managing money.”
4. One hungry candidate asked for directions to the employee break room to eat after the interview.
5. A candidate recited poetry.
6. A candidate for a customer service job told the interviewer, “I don’t really like working with people.”
7. One person had to leave because his dog had gotten loose in the parking lot.
8. A job-seeker spent the entire interview staring at the ceiling.
9. Asked to provide an example of teamwork, one candidate cited his Dungeons and Dragons experience.

Regarding inappropriate attire, it is better to err on the side of caution, or do a drive by a couple of days before your interview and see what employees are wearing. If you decided to take a chance and apply on the spot, be sure you are properly dressed.  A friend told me that she recently saw and spoke with a young woman she had not seen in a while, the young woman told her she was going into the building to apply for a job. My friend, a long-time gatekeeper of a high ranking executive explained to the young woman that she needed to return to apply when she wore something more appropriate and business-like. I do not know the outcome, but I am sure it was better than it would have been.

Read Career Builder’s article Feel Like Giving Up On Your Job Search? 5 Way to Shake things up, here  http://bit.ly/apmws3

 A couple of things to remember about meetings: (1) don’t waste someone’s else’s time, (2) take care not to be the reason for a canceled meeting. In many cases, know that time equals money.

If you are asked to RSVP a meeting or event, do so even if you have told to the person in charge of the event that you will attend. I have found that it is the little things that can make or break good will. 

• Don’t arrive too early. More than 10 minutes early is wasting your time and perhaps someone else’s, if they must entertain you while you wait. Also, you can become fidgety and annoyed that other’s may be late, if it appears they may not arrive on the dot. 

.  Send in that RSVP. Then mark your calendar, if something comes up, make contact and let the proper person that you will not be able to attend the function. No one likes to be left hanging, and it is just plain rude. 

• Confirm your appointments the day before. Let people know you’re conscientious; they’ll likely follow suit in the future. This is also an extra nudge or reminder to you as well.

• Bring some easy to do work with you. If you must wait, it cuts down the wasted time if you bring something else you can work on in the meantime. Anticipate that you may be waiting at least 10 minutes.

Summer’s here, and that usually means it’s time to hit the road for a vacation.  

  Whether your idea of relaxation involves rock climbing or lounging by the pool, you can enjoy a stress-free trip (or at least minimize the hassles) with some basic planning:

• Involve your children. Whether you’re traveling with toddlers or teenagers, get them engaged in the preparations. Asking them what they want to see and do, and incorporating their wishes as much as possible, will lead to a smoother experience.

• By Air–pick your time/follow new rules. Flight delays and crowded airplanes rarely improve the quality of your trip. When flying, your best bet is to travel Monday through Wednesday, early in the day. Fly direct if possible to cut the chances of your luggage getting lost (or having to drag your carry-ons from one end of the airport to the other). Make sure you have checked airline rules and regulations. Follow all directives etc., to the Nth degree.

• By car or rail–pack some snacks. Kids and adults get cranky when they’re hungry. Carry along something healthy to eat: granola bars, raisins or other dried fruit, peanut butter crackers, and treats for when you or your kids need something special.

• While away–schedule downtime. Don’t try to cram too many activities into the day. Rushing through one museum to get to the next one, and the one after that, will quickly grow exhausting. Allow some time to relax, watch TV, read, or take a leisurely stroll. A afternoon nap while on vacation is the ultimate treat for me. 

• Don’t allow drastic change to normal routine. For small children specially, maintaining some elements of a regular routine will keep things running smoothly. Bedtimes, regular meals, and normal rules of behavior provide a comforting sense of structure. If you normally read at night, bring a book or two.

• Prepare to be flexible. Expect delays and mishaps, so they don’t stress you out. Break the schedule when something more interesting comes up. If you want to spend more time in a museum that intrigues you, do it. You may not have the chance again.