Taking care of your parents when their health starts to decline is a huge and time consuming responsibility. Plus, deciding when to offer help isn’t always easy. As we age, many of us don’t want to admit that we can’t take care of ourselves adequately, so don’t expect your parents to admit it either.

    Some signs to watch for when deciding whether an elderly relative or acquaintance is having problems that need to be addressed:

• Weight loss. If the relative isn’t actively trying to lose weight, unexplained weight loss could indicate difficulty cooking (holding utensils, reading recipes), loss of smell or taste, or underlying problems like malnutrition or dementia. With Alzheimer’s a loved one may forget how to hold a utensil or know what it is. Talk, ask questions. Sometimes heavier seasoning may help to tweak an appetite.

• Overall appearance. Take a good look at your aged relatives’ daily hygiene. Are their clothes clean? Do they bathe regularly, brush their teeth, groom themselves? If not, they could be suffering from depression, dementia, or other health problems.

• Mobility. Muscle weakness and joint problems that grow more pronounced with age can limit an elderly person’s mobility and endanger his or her safety. Do they have trouble walking long distances, or seem unsteady on their feet? A fall can be serious, but a cane or a walker can minimize the danger.

• Lifestyle. Pay attention to any loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. Do they still participate in hobbies, listen to music, exercise, and socialize with friends? Physical and mental limitations can be compounded if the person becomes isolated at home.

• Emotional balance. Pay attention to moods. Increased anxiety, sudden mood swings, or lack of interest in activities can be signs of depression or other health concerns.

You should understand that you will not always get the truth when asking questions about health, eating habits and such. Casual and unannounced visits may be necessary to find out what you need to know. Also, make it a habit to count pills, if your there were 20 “take two pills in the morning,” on your last visit and 20 pills three days later, something is wrong.