I love quotes. I search them out. I save them. Sometimes, I find little scrapes of paper in my purse with a quote or a person’s name to be searched online when I get home. Many times it is the other way around, a good quote, but who said it?  A dear friend once said, “Good sax is better than sex”; if you have heard the saxophone played right, you know what she meant.  Is it original? Who knows, but I love it.

If you find a quote here that you like, take it, use it, enjoy it.

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Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. — Carol Burnett

Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top. Then you will see how low it was. — Dag Hammarskjöld

Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.
— Ernest Hemingway

Safeguards are often irksome, but sometimes convenient, and if one needs them at all, one is apt to need them badly. — Henry Adams

I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen. — Frank Lloyd Wright

Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you’re not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were. — David Rockefeller

How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. — George Washington Carver

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. — Frank Zappa

Everything I’ve ever done was out of fear of being mediocre. — Chet Atkins

I must admit that I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings. — Margaret Mead

I am rather inclined to silence, and whether that be wise or not, it is at least more unusual nowadays to find a man who can hold his tongue than to find one who cannot. — Abraham Lincoln

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must. —Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got.
—Walter Cronkite

To err is nature, to rectify error is glory. — George Washington

The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. — Eldridge Cleaver

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. — Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled. — Barack Obama

Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent it is gone forever. — Zig Ziglar

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we can never give enough of is love. — Henry Miller

I never loved another person the way I loved myself. — Mae West

The origins of April Fool’s Day appear to be a mystery. Some say it began after the adoption of the Gregorian Calendar in the 16^th Century, as a derogatory term for people still clinging to the outmoded Julian Calendar.

Others speculate that “April Fool” was first applied to farmers who began planted their crops in April, instead of May, which was considered the “official” start of summer in many pre-Christian cultures.

Whatever its beginnings, April Fool’s Day has a rich legacy of pranks, jokes, and hoaxes. Here are a couple of the most famous:

• The Swiss spaghetti harvest. In 1957 the BBC reported that a mild Swiss winter, combined with a decline in the “spaghetti weevil” population, had resulted in a record crop of spaghetti in Switzerland. Swiss farmers were shown happily harvesting spaghetti from trees, and many viewers called in to find out how to grow their own spaghetti trees.

• Reduced gravity.Sir Patrick Moore, a British astronomer, told the BBC in 1976 that an unusual alignment of the planets Jupiter and Pluto would result in lower gravity on April 1 at 9:47 a.m. He urged people to jump up into the air to experience the “strange floating sensation” that the phenomenon would produce. The BBC received calls from listeners claiming to feel the effects.

  Years ago there was a super commercial with the tagline, “You wear it well” I don’t recall the name of the product, but I believe that Lauren Hutton was in it, so that probably means fragrance.  If you don’t wear red because…  Perhaps you should, it turns out that wearing red attracts men. Women should tuck this nugget of information away since Zagat, the restaurant ratings people, have published a restaurant guide on the best place to take a date and/or dump a date.  I heard it on the news this morning and immediately performed a search.  I found a humorous post about dating and dumping your dates Zagat-style at Hello Beautiful at blackplanet.com. Get the book, then wear red, if your honey suggests one of the places named, the poor guy will be too confused and besotted by your red dress to say it’s over I could not find the guide on Amazon. Oh, yes, I think the restaurants listed are NY, San Francisco and another state.

A Real Color and Human Behavior Research

In research on the relationship between color and human behavior, a University of Rochester study has revealed the impact color can have on men without their awareness.

In the study, the male participants looked at pictures of women who were variously framed in different colors—red, gray, green, or blue. They also viewed photos of the same women whose shirt colors had been digitally changed. In both cases, the women shown either framed in the color red or wearing the color red were rated more significantly attractive and sexually desirable by the men. Red did not increase attractiveness ratings for females rating other females. And the color did not affect how men rated women in terms of likeability, intelligence, or kindness. Males of other mammal species are also known to be attracted to the color red, which leads researchers to believe that the aphrodisiacal effect of red may have deep biological roots.  See University of Rochester Press Release 10/28/08

Some heartfelt children’s humor

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?   Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did one lightbulb say to the other?  “I love you a whole watt!”

  Knock knock . . .

A man went to answer a knock at his door and upon opening it, found a huge cockroach. “Yes?” asked the man. “What can I do for you?” Instead of answering, the cockroach slapped the man and ran off.

The next night there was another knock at the door. When the man answered, he found the cockroach once again. This time, the cockroach kicked the heck out of the man and ran off once more.

On the third night, there was a familiar knock at the door. The man cautiously opened it and no sooner did he peek out than the cockroach bit him and took off.

The man was so worried about the bite that he called his doctor and told him the whole story. “What is going on?” the man asked.

“Ah, yes,” the doctor said. “There’s a nasty bug going around.” 

Oh come on-you know it’s funny.

 Top 5 New Year’s resolutions for pets. Does your pet need to make one?

5. I will not suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

4. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

3. I resolve to get a bite in on that freak who gives me a shot every year.

2. I will break into the pantry and decide for MYSELF how much food is “too” much. and the Number 1 New Year’s Resolution made by pets . . . drum roll please.

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it leave the hand!

You know that there are “lucky” foods that are supposed to bring you wealth and wellness in the new year. But did you know that there are also unlucky foods that you should avoid?  

• Chicken. Because chickens scratch backwards, they may lead to regrets or keep you living in the past.

• Lobster. Because lobsters move backwards, they may cause you setbacks during the new year.

• Any fowl that can fly. Because they may fly away with your good fortune. 

If you are from the south, you know that black eye peas on New Year’s Day will bring you good luck.